Change Your Beliefs By Changing Your Speech

Words mean things. I’ve said it before. I’ll be saying it again because it is an important idea that we frequently let slip into the corners of our minds.

I can hear you. Well, duh. Of course words mean things.

They mean a lot more than we give them credit for. Take this example.

I’m a social worker in my day job, so it frequently happens that individuals approach me. Sometimes they have a problem. Sometimes they want information. Other times they just want someone to talk to. One of my first questions, after small talk and getting familiar with them, is What can I do for you?

What I’m saying when I utter this sentence, and what message I’m giving to the people who have come to see me, I’m not too happy with. If you analyze the sentence , I’m

• arrogating responsibility from the individual
• putting the control of action in my hands
• leaving the person who is seeking assistance in the role of a passive recipient.

These word, like all words, reveal much more than they say. They reveal beliefs I have about myself, and beliefs I have about the person with whom I’m interacting.

I don’t like the beliefs these words reveal. Teaching someone to be a passive recipient of aid isn’t what I’m trying to do at all. My goal is to aid and assist individuals to do all they can for themselves, not to do for them. Mark that aid and assist. It’s important. I want to  leave responsibility in the person’s hands, share the control of action, and leave them in the role of an active participant. I want to say something that embodies these desires and these beliefs. I’ve thought about replacing What can I do for you? with

How can I help you?
What would you like to talk about?
What’s up?
What’s on your mind?

I’m not totally pleased with any of these, but I’ll find something. If you have any ideas, let me know.

This is an excellent exercise to do to find your beliefs in areas of life that are of active concern. Take some sentence that you say frequently, either to others or in your own mind, and look for the implications of the words you use. Before you know it, you will be looking at the beliefs underlying the words, beliefs that you may not have been aware of before. You will have taken one more step away from conditioning and toward freedom.

If you don’t like the beliefs the exercise reveals, change the words you use. Look for a replacement sentence that does express the beliefs you want to hold. It may feel strange at first. You’ll have to watch yourself closely. That old sentence is a part of you, and it’s verbalization is an expression of your beliefs. In changing it, you are changing your beliefs, and you are changing yourself.

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