Persistently Pounding Your Head On A Wall
May 23rd, 2007 by Richard CockrumPersistence one of the virtues of getting anywhere in life. As it is written, 90% of success is in just showing up. Another virtue is self-reliance. We learn best what we practice. But, in some cases persistence combined with self-reliance can lead to
persistently…..
pounding…..
your…..
head…..
on…..
a…..
brick…..
wall…..
That’s not a good position to be in. Not one of us is in the world alone. It is as important to know when to ask for help as it is to know when to rely on your own efforts to carry you forward.
I had a case of this last night. My daughter is in cyber-school, and is generally self-directed in her work. She is also as hard-headed as I am. I know best what is best for me! is her motto. Well, not always. She has been stuck on a concept in math for three months (graphing systems of linear equations to find a solution), and finally brought it to me. She was frustrated, didn’t see the use of what she was learning, and couldn’t see her way forward to grasping the concept. It took us about three hours, part of which was spent with me refreshing my memory of the concept, part of which was spent in convincing her that just because she didn’t like math and may never use the linear equations directly didn’t mean they couldn’t be fun just as a problem-solving exercise, part of which was spent in explaining the concept to her in terms she could understand, the rest of which was spent in actual practice, but by the end of the evening she was solving the problems, getting the correct answer, and understanding what she was doing (I hope!).
When persistence and independence is leading to pain and the end of all progress, consider that you may be pounding your head on a brick wall. One of the things about walls is that they always have a door you can go through, a top you can go over, or an end you can go around. It can take some help to find that way through, over, or around, though. Ask for it. You’re too valuable to be stuck in one place.
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May 25th, 2007 at 7:25 am
The idea of asking for help with things we don’t understand or just can’t do for ourselves seems to be a popular one these days. I’m glad to see it. It’s not that I’m adverse to working on problems, it’s simply that it’s good to know when the solution will be better if the problem is given to one who’s equipped to handle it. Think about it: if we live for a hundred years and sleep for thirty of them, why waste the other two-thirds kissing the brick wall?
Your daughter is a very wise girl.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:01 am
Of course she is. She chose me for a father.
On second thought, that may call her wisdom into question. We’re both independent cusses. I hope she begins to learn earlier than I did when it is wiser to seek aid.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Rick, maybe she chose you for a father so she could impart some of her wisdom to you
May 25th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Spot on, Carolyn!
June 9th, 2007 at 10:51 pm
[…] or around, though. Ask for it. You’re too valuable to be stuck in one place. –Rick Cockrum, Persistently Pounding Your Head On A Wall, Shards of […]