Alone With 55,000,000 People
November 6th, 2006 by Richard CockrumI’ve heard the internet described as a lonely place, and we all know the image of the writer sitting at his keyboard, wondering if he is talking into the silence.
This feeling of aloneness on the part of the writer isn’t unique. It is a part of us all. Much of my life I spent feeling as if I were alone, whether I was physically alone, walking down a crowded city street, or in my home, the place of emotional refuge and safety, with my family. The odd man out, the stranger in my own house. If there was a dance, I was the one sitting at wall, drawn by the companionship of the group, afraid of the companionship of the group. A holiday celebration? I was the one in the other room, watching television or reading a book, hearing the laughter and the anger. I knew in my heart I was different. Other people didn’t think like me. I was alone.
Over time I realized I lied. I would listen to a joke, laughing as I saw the humor, hearing those around me laugh too. I would go to a funeral, feeling the pain of separation, seeing the same pain on the faces of those around me. I would read something in a book and feel the hint of familiarity as the idea or feeling expressed touched a place I had been. I would look in my child’s face, seeing the excitement as they ran to me when I came in the door. I lied.
When we enter the electronic world called the internet, we are physically alone. We sit at our computer with only the touch of the keys beneath our fingers and the screen before our eyes as companions, but we aren’t truly alone. In the most objective sense, all you have to do is look at your traffic statistics to see that people do come to your site. I defy you to find a site that is publicly available that has never been visited by at least one live person. You can see where they go. With the right package you can see how long they stayed there. If you write a blog, you will get comments, though these may seem far between.
When we write, whether in the heart of a city with a population of 20,000,000 souls, or in a hut in a desert, we are anything but alone. While each of us is unique and has created a self and a world that has never been seen before, and never will be seen again, we all spring from the same ground. If we have felt something, if we have thought something, there is at least one other person in the world who has felt or thought something similar, if not the same thing. We are their voice, as well as our own. We are never alone.
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November 6th, 2006 at 8:49 pm
Hi Rick,
Great Post, as always!
While I agree with you that base on stats, we know that we have a few loyal readers and are increasing each and every day. We are never alone.
However much I like to fool myself (I don’t mean it in a negetive way), I can’t bypass the fact I’m still feel alone in the crowd, looking at my blog comments.
Especially of late, this loneliness (writing) has taken its toil for the worst. I’m not lacking in ideas to write but I’m lacking the drive to write.
As much as I hate to admit, bloggers need some sort of validations (comments) to keep us wanting to write, and write more passionately.
Sorry for the mini rant. I just have to get it out of my system.
Cheers
November 7th, 2006 at 7:06 am
Thanks for stopping in, Renée. I’m sorry I’m so late. I had to go to bed early last night.
I know how you can feel alone. That’s why I wrote this post. I’ve been there. “Why doesn’t anyone say anything?” “If they really cared, they would leave a comment.” “I wonder how they felt about that.” “Did I write clearly?” “Is anyone really out there?”
Those are some of the things I’ve thought to myself in the past, and occasionally still. Until the past couple of months, more often than not I wouldn’t have any comments on the posts I made, and half the comments I do have are me replying to the commenter, so there still aren’t that many. Take away my comments, and I’ve averaged about one comment per post. A good portion of those are from people visiting as a result of participating in Darren’s group post projects at Problogger.
When I started this blog, I had an advantage over most people. I have had this website (www.shardsofconsciousness.com) on line since 2000 for the software I’ve written. It was a very low traffic site, but I was able to capitalize on it to direct people to the blog. Since then I’ve made sure I participate in two different carnivals and most of Darren Rowse’s group post projects to attract more traffic. Still, overall commenting is low, and 2/3 of my traffic comes from searches, not subscribers or direct visits.
People who stop in as a result of a search are much less likely to leave a comment. They’re looking for something. To their mind, if they find it, good. If they don’t, they’re off to the next result on their search page. They rarely take time to say something, and that’s okay. Who talks to the encyclopedia? When they do leave a comment, it makes me feel like gold.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) I’m self-centered. The vast majority of what I post, I post because I wanted to write it. It seems important to me. I hope it will help someone else, but the important thing is I had my say. As Liz said a while back at Successful Blog, the post is going to be on line long after we’re gone. It has become a part of the record of human history.
It makes me feel great when someone does leave a comment. I see them as a representative of all the people who came and didn’t comment. But I would still write.
Sorry this turned into another post. You write well, and I know how depressing it can be to feel like you’re talking down a barrel, but you’re not. People are reading. People will read in the future, long after you and I are gone. The things you talk about will be true and important as long as people have dogs.
November 7th, 2006 at 7:45 pm
Don’t apologize for writing such a long comment, Rick. I appreciate it greatly that you took the time to response, and on point!
I’ve always enjoy your posts especially when you share your personal experiences. Quite a number of them is what I feel but never have the courage to write it on my personal blog for fear of the unknown cause and effect. Don’t ask me why I’ve that emotion considering I’m quite vocal about my thoughts.
I don’t considerate that self-centeredness at all. If so, you wouldn’t have written with such passion.
I have to adopt this attitude of yours. It’s not a lip service and I really need to get this ingrained in me which somehow left me for God knows when.
PS. Hope you vote well. ;p
November 7th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
I’m glad it helps, Renée.
I voted, well or not, I don’t know, but I did vote.
December 2nd, 2007 at 12:10 pm
[…] Rick: If we have felt something, if we have thought something, there is at least one other person in the world who has felt or thought something similar, if not the same thing. We are their voice, as well as our own. We are never alone. […]